Godvertising

Tact is the unsaid part of what you think

If we all said what we think, the world would be a different place, better in some ways, worse in others. Tact is when you don’t say what you’re thinking. Sometimes tact is an active lie (a “white lie”), and sometimes tact is simply holding your tongue (”lie by omission”).

This sign is a sage reminder of the virtue tactfulness and the vice of belligerence. I encountered some belligerent people last month, and I found myself exercising a fair amount of tact.

It gets some marquee bonus points, too. Firstly, it is justified left for some reason while the sign begs to be centered. As an odd coincidence it appeared the same week the CBS memo story did, with all its centering problems. At least we know this sign wasn’t done in Word, huh?

The other marquee bonus is the ‘Y’ in “YOU”. It’s really an ‘X’ with the bottom half covered up. I think this church needs a new set of letters.

Coincidences happen when God remains anonymous

This is a bit strange. I was listening to the tail-end of “The Infinite Mind” last week. The show was on coincidences. I’m a big fan of coincidences and how our brains perceive them. For example, when you pick up the phone to call your friend and just before you do, the phone rings, and its her calling you. Spooky, right? This sticks in your brain as a strange coincidence. But what didn’t stick in your brain is the hundreds of times you reached for the phone and this didn’t happen. That’s how our brain works. It remembers the “hits” and forgives the “misses”. That’s how John Edward works his magic, too.

So it’s funny listening to this, because he’s describing a radio show you might hear and how it might trigger a memory from a few days earlier or it might hit you later. And I was thinking how funny this is that I’ve heard this before (Coincidence!) because, as I said, I’m a fan of coincidences. I tried to remember to go listen to the whole show when it’s online here.

And then, two days later: blam! This sign hits me on the side of the road. Coincidence? Or is it a sign from God?

Ehh… maybe the preacher was listening to the show, too.

Come in out of the heat. This church is really cool.

Yeah, it’s hot outside. It’s oppressively humid. A cool, air-conditioned church would be a nice place to rest. Oh, wait. “This church is really cool?” Isn’t that hep cat talk for “neato”? I suppose that’s a play on words, even if it is about 30 years out of date.

Or maybe they’re speaking about a different heat. Come in from the stress of life. Come into the house of God where you can bask in his love and let him take your troubles away. This is the beauty of Godvertising. It’s so short it almost always has a double-entendre.

Marquee bonus: sorely lacking punctuation

Go for the wood!

When is wood more precious than gold?

In the recent olympic games in Athens several hundred gold medals were awarded. Many of the receiving athletes chose to thank God for giving them the talent and the win. These athletes trained for years to be the best, they traveled to Athens to “go for the gold and they persevered as a result of their hard work. After all of their self-sacrifice and dedication, they give God the credit for their talents.

For some, the cross is more important than the gold. Perhaps it is easier to attain, but perhaps it is harder to hold onto. Reverend Dan wants us to consider what is really important in life when we encounter gamesmanship and bragging rights. For Christians, this wood is much more valuable than gold.

You can Get Out of Hell Free! I picked up the bill. — God

Jesus came to earth and died for our sins. He paid the bill so we could avoid eternal damnation. That’s chivalry, right there. A shining example to all of us, and an act we really can’t rise to. But we should try.

Christian sermons remind us that Jesus paid the ultimate price for us. He got the check. He took the damage. And because of that, we can get out of Hell free. Sweet, huh?

Rev. Dan sent me this photo from his own church. He is apparently an avid Godvertising collector as well. Like me, he carries his camera with him in his car so he can take pictures of signs wherever he sees them, on the side of the road, on billboards or on license plates.

It’s those license plates that I have the most anxiety about. “Don’t mind me,” I though-project. “I’m just trying to configure this camera. I’m not really taking a picture of your license plate.”

Yeah, someday this hobby is going to earn me a black eye. I should carry a business card or something.

Maybe a GOOHF card will do. I’ll bet Rev. Dan carries them, too.